That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
