i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
