absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
