return my video game
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
