So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she told me i tasted like america
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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