There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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