So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
