whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
