Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize