I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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