i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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