why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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