Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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