Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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