Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
