pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
