We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
