so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
