don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
