3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
