Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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