i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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