is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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