I heard we made out
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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