the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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