i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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