Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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