Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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