I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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