He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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