i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
