i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
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I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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