Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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