If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize