No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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