Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
