i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My ATM looks so different sober.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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