): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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