Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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