its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
