can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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