If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize