East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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