If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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