i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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