The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
