just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
