I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
