I just made out with a guy for $7.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
