so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
