Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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