My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
