By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize