i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Green mimosas i think yes
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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