She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
