i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
