Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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