I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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