i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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