We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
